“When we take accountability, it takes the wind out of the sails of the other person. They have nowhere to go. They’re trying to press our buttons and get under our skin. ... ‘You’re right. And I’m working on myself. Thank you for reminding me of how far I’ve come and how far I have to go.’”
– Jonathan Decker, licensed therapist
I, too, use a lot of MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) references when talking about life and psychological issues. And in the last couple of years I’ve also developed an “accountability kink” (as Jonathan puts it)!
As Jonathan notes, button-pushers need structure, follow-through, and consistency. YES! No intermittent reinforcement! No rewarding behaviours you don’t want! Keep calm and stop participating in the dysfunctional dance.
P.S. Anyone else a fan of Cinema Therapy with Jonathan and professional filmmaker Alan Seawright?